As a homeschool mom of three children, a caretaker of my husband, as well as an entrepreneur, my life is full of to do lists that are not getting checked off. In fact, many times I will make my schedule for the day, that I think is realistic, only to realize, at the end of the day, that it will take our family the next two days to get it all done! If there is anyone who can have an excuse to stay home and work on my own projects, I think I could get away with it without offending anyone. For the most part, people tell me that is a primary reason they don't call to "check on me", because they know my plate is so full that they don't want to interrupt me! (Side note: please call anyway if you read this and are one of those people.)
However, when it comes to being available to help people in need, it is amazing how our entire family can clear our schedules and instantly become available to help. I love that quality we have intentionally fostered in our immediate family... to never be too busy or too focused on our own goals to leave others hanging alone who have asked for help or have a clear need we know we could meet.
I think one major catalyst to this mentality is having been on the other side of needing help and seeing that others were too busy to either notice or take time to be there for us. I have seen a very common theme, even in Christian circles, which is to "take care of your own family before reaching out to help others." This is a paradigm I strongly oppose, because I know what it feels like to not have my "own family" and to be an "other".
Today was a day we had an opportunity to make someone else's need our schedule.
A few days ago, we had received an email asking our homeschool co-op for help for one particular mom who recently found out she is battling cancer and who had not been able to recover from her Thanksgiving house full of guests (with small children) who left her with a bigger mess than she could tackle.
When we arrived this morning, there were four moms (including myself) who showed up. Two of us brought our daughters, so we had three young ladies with us to help as well. As Beth* (not using her real name) was showing us the goals she had for us, she teared up on many occasions. You could tell she was not only dealing with the physical pain of her health issue, but she was completely overwhelmed by the messes that had been left everywhere. Later she also said she had felt embarrassed about it all too.
We were there for about four hours solid when some of our group had to leave for other things. The laundry was sorted, the kitchen was cleaned up, the living room was dusted, mopped, and vacuumed, the linens shelf was reorganized, and on and on we worked.
Our Benevolence Account was able to supply the funds to buy our group lunch (thank you to our SOCKS.team partners) so we could continue to stay longer and stay strong as we worked diligently.
What a true blessing to already have money set aside and a system set in place to be ready to be a blessing on a moment's notice without worrying about how it will effect your own personal life.
There is no fear in giving when you have prepared ahead of time to be a giver as needed.
Finally, at about three o'clock the last of us left. Combined we worked about 30 hours (7 people X 4-5 hours - lunch break and kids breaks) to help get their home back in working order where she could have a clear mind when she walked into their spaces. That was a significant blessing to her and their whole family! I imagine when her husband came home from work, he was probably very relieved, as he has been taking over areas of meals, laundry, etc.
Though we did not get everything done that could have been done, we made significant progress in helping their family get a cleaner and clearer environment in all of their main living spaces and areas.
I think all of us know what it feels like to be "in the weeds", as we would say when I used to wait tables. With or without sickness, many of us could use help with those piles of things that just cannot seem to get done. The clutter that starts to run over our physical space and enter into our mental space. It just gets to be too much. Add to that a sudden diagnosis of cancer with lots of pain that instantly takes you down to sitting in a recliner: managing pain instead of managing your home... well, you can start to imagine the scenario. She needed help. She was brave and humble enough to ask for help, and we came.
After we left, I was taking the opportunity to review the situation with our children in the car on the way home. It was definitely a teachable moment to help them relook at the need, their importance in the world to be there helping with the need, and taking note of how it feels to serve the Lord and people in this manner.
As we were talking, my girls told me they were thinking more people would be there. That's right! Only four mothers showed up (out of about sixty in the group). When I started thinking about it, there should have been more people there. I know people are busy, and we cannot do all things at all times. I also recognize some may not have seen the email request. But, when I look at the demographics of who was asked.... Christian Homeschoolers.
Christians First.
Homeschoolers Second.
What lesson plans were more important today that took the place of the opportunity to bless this family?
I do not want to post this as a judgement or condemnation, but rather to highlight the common complacency I see in our circles. I am sure there were appointments and circumstances that were important to many people. However, I am not convinced that sixty families did not spend the day on their "homeschool" lesson plans.
If we will take days off to go on field trips, why will we not take days off to take trips to help our fellow sisters and brothers in Christ who are in our network asking for help? If we won't help those we know, how will we be effective at helping those we don't know.... who may not know our wonderful faith and Savior?
Maybe it is because of my background in foster care and adoptions.
Maybe it is because of my Social Work education.
Maybe it is because of the time I have spent in the Word and with the Lord that has given me a heart for hurting people.
Maybe it is because of the terrible things our own family went through when "it happened to us" (we were in great need for years due to my husband's accident that paralyzed him).
I may be over sensitive in this area, and that is why I am bringing it to light and hoping that maybe this writing will plant a seed of thought, so that the next time you see an invitation to help someone in need, you will clear your schedule and your family will show up.
And if you are homeschooling your children, I know there is a story that floats around that just because you are homeschooling does not mean you have extra time to do extra activities. But, please don't forget that the Lesson for the day could be the Blessing you are to those around you who call for help, and you and your family answers on behalf of our Lord Jesus Christ.
We ARE His workers on the Earth.
We ARE His representatives and ambassadors.
We ARE His hands and feet.
We ARE His love.
We ARE the Blessing.
And sometimes we ARE the lesson.
Also, I have heard that there are children growing up who do not know just how precious and significant they are to the world around them. They may not be the local sports star. They may not have a special skill or talent that they consider admirable or worthy. As a result, they can end up going into their teenage years not feeling significant, and we all know the doors of depression, anxiety, fear, and on and on that can be opened and things that we do not wish on our children can start to happen as a result of that thinking pattern.
Taking time to let them be actively involved in blessing another person in need can help to build strong confidence in them that they are significant and that their life makes a difference. If my girls and I had not shown up today, I do not think the crew could have gotten the piles and piles of laundry sorted and processed. It was just too big on top of the other things there were to do! Their showing up truly made a difference and they knew it.
I believe blessing and serving others (on demand) teaches them all sorts of things about humility, service, integrity, and love. But, I also think it gives them a strong sense of purpose and significance that they do matter, not only to the God we try to bring them to, but to the tangible people they can see and interact with in their visual world.
Today, we did not get our Bible study done, we are more behind on our Math schedule, and we did not even touch our Science homework that is mounting up for the weekend. But, the lesson today, for our children and me, was to be the blessing.... not just when we choose to go out and do a "service project", but when people ask for help.
Loving God and Loving People.
In my lesson plan book, there are no greater academics than that and no to do list worth doing before that. I came home and we are still "in the weeds", but I think we did a great job at "school" today.
"Let them do good, that they be rich in good works, ready to give, willing to share,"
1Ti 6:18 NKJV
"But do not forget to do good and to share, for with such sacrifices God is well pleased."
Heb 13:16 NKJV
We do not just share our financial gifts, but people need us to share our time, our creativity, and our strength with them as well.
Authors Note: There is an article about the lesson being the baby that a friend of mine had shared with me years ago. It was talking about when homeschool moms have babies that interupt the "schedule". This concept of "the lesson is the blessing" is adapted from that same mentality. I want to give credit to that author - though I do not know who she/he was.
