I am quickly realizing I don't have the time (or I cannot make the commitment to the time) to write every giving story in my long short-story format. So, tonight, I wanted to just jot down the basics and ended up writing this (with the intention to go back to it later). However, I have YEARS of stories to go back and write... so the chances of me going back to it - may be slim.
This happened today.
You may want to read it today.
God may be able to use it today.
So here it is.
Not perfectly edited or punctuated.
But, in the end... you may have to put it on your list to read and never get to it.
So hopefully, you can read through it sooner and quicker as well.
At the end of the day, what's important to me about sharing these stories is that you are growing in your faith for what you believe to be impossible, your trust in God's complete provision for you to personally do the "impossible", and that you share in our passion for becoming a giver more than a taker and a blessing more and more as you realize how blessed you are.
I also hope to redefine the prejudices and judgments too often unfairly assigned to the poor and homeless by all... especially those who "call themselves Christians".
I hope others can learn from what we do well and from what we could have done better: to be better equipped to notice and take action as you have opportunity.
**********
Leaving Natural Grocers with our three children
We had been running errands for about 5 hours at this point
$400+ in groceries
Loading the car. Putting the cart away.
See Lone black man sitting at table outside the front of the store
–obviously needing help but too shy or
humbled to even ask
Just present
Waiting
Opportunity
I’ll bite
Just making the choice to just do it
I asked what we could do for him. Did he need something to
eat?
He wanted some “change” for some food for him, his daughter
and granddaughter
I did not have cash but he could shop for groceries; we
would pay
He was obviously uncomfortable going into “health food store”
He mentioned not needing “organic”
He asked for some bread, bologna, and juice.
I offered to go with him next door to CVS
He perked up, “I can go to CVS?”
Of course I tried meagerly to encourage the Health Food choice – it wasn’t scary, but would be better for him
Of course I tried meagerly to encourage the Health Food choice – it wasn’t scary, but would be better for him
But I recognized he was uncomfortable – it was foreign to
him
Realized is it about helping him on my terms or helping him
So I bend.
I don’t like prices for groceries at CVS nor the chemicals
in most of the food types that would be found there.
But what was more important?
Love.
So we all walked over there.
Gave him the basket and let him shop.
We all went beside him.
He picked up Hawaiian Punch. I started to suggest Apple
Juice. If only he knew the artificial
sugar load in his juice and how bad that will make him feel; sparking more
hunger.
But is this the time to educate?
No, just love.
Love in his language.
Doesn’t have to be mine.
He was conscious of the price.
When he saw the tea was the same price as the punch, he
chose the tea.
I could tell he was excited about that.
We continued to stroll.
I suggested to add a bag of chips. Just for fun.
Sure, they are not filling, but they are fun to eat.
I bit my tongue wanting to get the only type that I would
have approved for my children, but he got the ones we all love, but don’t get
because they are laced with MSG.
But, I found joy in knowing he got to pick what he wanted.
We went a little further.
“Peanuts or nuts?” I asked as we passed them.
They are non-perishable, lightweight, and satisfying.
This would be a good investment.
“No” he answered softly after giving them an honest glance
to decide.
I was not sure if he was trying not to take advantage of our
offer to help, or if he felt bad accepting too much, or if he really did not
see the value in having nuts on hand.
That’s okay.
Not my way… just love his way.
We couldn’t find bologna or any lunch meat in the CVS
refrigerators.
He settled to just get a loaf of bread.
I was glad he chose the $3.00 healthy loaf.
It could have been the cheaper Wonder White Bread… but
Nature’s Own would have been my pick for him there.
No High Fructose Corn Syrup.
Why was it still about what I thought?
I saw the Quaker Oatmeal box. This would be great!
Lightweight individual packets.
Lightweight individual packets.
Nutritious and filling.
Can be made with water and cups at any gas station on the
go.
I offered, picking up the box to show him.
He declined saying that he would not want to get
something he wouldn’t eat.
I appreciated he wasn't wanting to waste "our" money.
Clearly the poor and homeless need educated in cheaper, more
nutritious ways to feed themselves.
But for now, educating him was not my mission.
He was ready to go, but I insisted we have to at least get
something for the bread.
“How about peanut butter?”
He agreed.
We went back through the aisles looking for the peanut
butter.
Found it!
I so wanted to get the jelly too… for taste and enjoyment,
but it was not practical.
Too heavy. Glass jars for smaller ones. No refrigerator once
it is opened.
If CVS had the mixed squeeze bottle, we could have gotten
that… but they didn’t.
(Add that to the list when changing the world – tell corner
markets to carry poor / homeless friendlier options.)
Now, we were ready to checkout.
He had his gallon of tea, bag of chips, loaf of bread, and
jar of peanut butter.
We rounded the corner and I asked if he needed any
toiletries… toothbrush, razor, anything?
He declined and started to tell me his story in bits.
He just got approved for his section 8 housing.
His sister had kicked out his daughter and her child and he
had to take them in.
He had them in a motel for the night, and he just wanted to
get some food.
I did not press making him get the toiletries.
I offered.
He had declined.
He was delicate.
He was a broken
man clearly overwhelmed by this stranger who was out-of-nowhere giving him a
full shopping spree.
He had not been trained or ready for what to do in that
moment.
If he had the hope or faith that he could experience
something like this, I am sure he would have been better prepared to accept the
gifts.
If he had any idea how much his Father loves him, he would
have been better prepared to expect and accept the gifts.
As we approached the checkout, I saw the whole aisle of
candy.
I wanted so badly to offer him something sweet, but for some
reason I couldn’t.
Just because you are poor doesn’t mean you wouldn’t enjoy a
good chocolate splurge!
An image of his daughter getting a bag of chocolate flashed
across my mind.
But, the mental war had begun. Should I or shouldn't I?
I judged it to be not wise.
The issue with teeth care.
Then the thought of how my sugar cravings are precipitated
usually by my eating sugar, I resolved it wasn’t in their best interest.
It would possibly ignite a craving for more and leave them
feeling hungrier in the end.
So, I didn’t offer.
Attempting to bless had been thwarted by judging...again.
Judging always tends to find its way into the situation.
One day, I hope to lock it out for good while keeping discernment around as welcomed company with wisdom.
It was obvious to anyone in that store that we weren’t together.
He was a black man.
We are white.
He was in typical “homeless” attire.
We were dressed casually.
He was emitting an odor.
We were clean – especially since my oldest daughter and I
had fresh haircuts with shampoo and style earlier in the day.
He was solemn and withdrawn.
We were talkative, bubbly, and confident.
Even so, I wanted to bless him with honor and respect.
I had the idea to let him look like he was paying for it all
himself.
But I wasn’t able to coordinate that fast enough.
As I had had the thought, the cashier had already asked him
for his CVS card, and I was a few seconds behind in pulling it out and giving
it all to him to use.
So, he stepped aside, and I finished the transaction.
I wondered how much this small sack of groceries would
be.
Four items.
I was pleasantly surprised when the total was barely over
$12.00.
$12.00!?
That’s all!?
Here I offered to let this man get whatever he wanted or
needed in the store.
He chose selectively.
He declined many things he was offered.
I had gone where he felt comfortable, a small voice telling
me the cost of groceries would be unreasonable.
But, at this moment it did not seem unreasonable.
It did not seem to be anything.
I had just spent over $400.00 at my grocery store stocking up on all sorts of things.
And his bill was only $12.00.
I felt sad.
I felt guilty for not doing more.
I wished I had a way to say, “I know what I can do to fix
all of your issues for you! Here’s this place. They’ll help you get on your
feet and you’ll never have to worry about where you are going to stay or what
you are going to eat.”
But, I don’t know a place like that.
Honestly, we had our plans today.
We still had places to go and errands to run.
This was a small detour to be a blessing
To seize the opportunity, because we DID notice him;
therefore we were obligated to do something.
We had answered that call, but here and now… it did not seem
enough.
Before the credit card machine could finish, my mind
realized an idea.
I could add to our gift by giving him cash back.
I think, to date, this is the only time I ever hoped it
would ask me: “Do you want cash back?”
It did.
And I did.
$40.00.
I felt satisfied that the total was at least over $50.00
now.
That seemed a more just amount to bless him.
I asked the cashier to double bag his heavy tea gallon knowing he would have to carry it somewhere with those painful plastic handles. I considered going back to my grocery store to buy a nicer bag, but I did not extend myself to do that.
I turned to give him his 2 bags of groceries and handed him
the cash on top of them.
He was amazed.
His whole countenance changed.
I had given him cash!
He wasn’t expecting that.
I wasn’t expecting that (to give him extra cash).
But, thank God His spirit lives inside of me and prompts me
to maneuver in ways that touch the souls of man in a way only God’s life force
can.
His soul was touched and that transformed his face.
He thanked us.
We were about to leave, and he asked, “Pray for me tonight.”
He teared up.
Duh! Of course.
I can pray with him right now.
I shuffled us to go outside to pray – realizing I would have
been okay to have done it right there in the middle of the store where other
could see.
But, habit, I guess prompted me to do it “in private” so as
not to offend anyone or embarrass him.
And so, we offered another gift.
Our time to listen and to
offer our greatest power to do something that will make a lifetime impact for
him – to agree with him in prayer.
I asked what specifically he wanted prayer for.
Right as I wanted to ask his name, it was like he read my
mind.
He said, “My name is Lathaniel. What is your name?”
I was touched that he cared to ask our names. I told him and we talked about what he wanted prayer for.
He said his sister, “who is supposed to be a Christian”,
kicked out his daughter and her baby.
He felt he had no choice but to take them in. His compassion and attempt to "do the right thing" was genuine.
He was trying to get them some food.
Though I wanted to know the details (probably so I could
either judge or try to fix it with my grand advice and opinions), out of
curiosity, I did not ask.
It wasn’t my story to know. It was his story to tell.
Within the next week he was expecting his Section 8 housing
to work out and he will have a place to stay.
I remembered my calls years ago looking for Section 8
housing for our family.
At least a 3-5 year waiting list.
I asked if he was trying to get a job.
He mentioned his disability income.
He acknowledged that he believed God was doing something for
him by me coming to help him. He knew it meant something.
He told me I did not have any idea how much that $40.00
meant to him and would help him.
He had had to put his disability monies down for the
apartment, deposit, and so on and was not expecting how that would drain him of
all he had while he was in this waiting place until he can move in.
This was a reasonable problem that explained his current plight of needing food.
I remembered how frustrated I had been many times trying to
help our own family “get off the bottom”.
The world is set up in a way that doesn’t help people on the
very bottom rung, those barely hanging on already.
“The world’s system” does not discriminate in that sense.
Poor or rich alike.
Pay deposit here.
Pay fee there.
Pay first month and last month.
Show two forms of ID.
You must have this ID before you can get that ID circle I
went through myself.
I sympathized with his situation.
I wished I could give him $1000 and help him for an entire
month.
I knew I could do that, if I really chose to.
But, I withheld from going all in to help this one person in
that large way.
Like being afraid you’ll all sink if one more person gets in
your boat…
so doing small things hoping it will be a life raft filled
with hope that will inspire them to get themselves to the next stage, and praying that God
will send others stronger than I who can pull him the rest of the way.
It takes great courage to give up your boat and let him have
it instead.
Today, I did not use that faith, trust, and courage.
I am sorry to say it, but more sorry to know this is still a
shortcoming or an area of growth.
I noticed a small tear in his right eye as I listened to
him.
I believed it had been triggered by his gratitude and knowledge that God was doing something for him.
I believed it had been triggered by his gratitude and knowledge that God was doing something for him.
I gathered my children who were nearby waiting and hanging
out.
“Let’s pray.”
They all came immediately to pray with us.
They know the drill.
I asked if I could touch him. He said yes.
So we circled up and prayed with him and for him.
When we opened our eyes, he was definitely crying.
Tears.
I thought, satisfied, “That means I’m done. I made him cry.
We can go now.”
A new family joke, mission, or motto – whatever you would
call it.
A few weeks ago, a lady cried on the phone, after we paid
off her overdue electric bill.
After that, we started reflecting on how many times our
giving prompts the recipient to cry.
I said we should title our book, “People we made cry.”
My oldest daughter (13), said when we pierced his heart with
love, the water must have come out through his eyes.
Funny, deep way to think about it.
Reminds me of an article I read that talked about the
science behind the healing properties of tears.
If that science is accurate, it is more proof of God’s
amazing design for us.
I asked if I could hug him.
Yes, he had a stench.
Yes, I am a female, and he was male.
But, in that moment it seemed the walls and boundaries were
down and this human needed touch.
Touch is healing.
Touch reminds us we are real and allows us to feel.
So, I leaped across the boundaries of stigma and gave him a
quick hug.
He told me God was going to keep blessing us.
(I’ll accept that prophesy.)
I quickly told him the secret to his increase will be in not
letting that money control him, but he will control the money.
He doesn’t serve it, it serves him.
This mental shift helped us so much when we were in our “poverty/lack”
state less than two years ago.
I encouraged him, and instructed him, to not eat his seed.
To at least give $4.00 (10%) away into the Kingdom of God
however and however much he believes God wants him to give.
And then to watch how that will be grown into more seed and
get him higher and higher as he exercises the faith and obedience to do more
each time (from the harvest he receives).
It has taken us hours and hours of studying, listening to
teaching, and trial and error to learn this principle that I tried to transfer
into his heart in a matter of minutes.
Will YOU please pray it landed on fertile ground and that Lathaniel will
have the trust in God and test God on this and then see it come to pass (Mal
3:10 and more)?
I believe, once he sees it himself, we would have “fed him for a
lifetime”.
And, he will in turn become a “fisher of men”.
My last words to him.
“Don’t forget. Don’t eat your seed.”
He said he won’t.
Give until you make them cry.
Press in and give in a way they don’t understand.
In a generous, selfless, loving way that pierces their
defenses, their doubts, their hardness of heart.
A way that reminds them that God must see and love them –because
why would this stranger do this for them?
