Giving Into A Veterans Dream; It only took a few minutes and $1500 to change lives

After I dropped off our children at their schools, and made my visit to my chiropractor appointment, I was finally on my way home when I talked myself into going ahead to make a quick stop to get a few essentials we had run out of: dog & cat food and toilet paper.  I called my husband to tell him I would be about fifteen minutes later than I had originally hoped.  I reasoned that though I really did not want to squeeze this errand in, it was the wisest and kindest thing to do. Otherwise, we would have to stop in the evening with everyone in the car waiting on me. Looking back now, I am reminded of this verse: 

A man's heart plans his way, but the Lord directs his steps.
Proverbs 16:9

As usual, I had taken longer in Wal-mart than I intended (I still try to convince myself I can run in and out in less than 20 minutes - I even set my Pomodoro timer confident I could make it). By the time I was back in my car, it had been 3 hours since I first left my house that morning.  Before I started the car, I noticed hunger pangs and decided to pause to find some food. I had just bought some cutie oranges and I had breakfast that had been refused (an unopened yogurt) in my purse. So, I snapped a photo of these items in my newly downloaded food journal app (See How You Eat) and started to drive.

As I got to the busy intersection, I noticed an older man with his dog. He was holding his sign

"Vet. Hand Up Appreciated."

My thoughts went to the judgement that people who need hand outs have no business having expensive pets to take care of.  Wait. There it was. Judgement. Not compassion. Not mercy. Not, "Lord, here I am, use me."

So, I rolled down my window and offered him my yogurt.  At least I had not opened it yet, and I had a clean plastic spoon to include.  

He smiled and said the usual, "God Bless". I thought my usual, "He already has." But, I didn't say it out loud this time. 

Sometimes it seems I am encouraging others while at other times the same words can seem like I am boasting.

I turned the corner to go home when the whisper in my thoughts said,

"You have dog food for his dog."

I argued, "How would I give him that?"

"You just happened to also buy ziploc bags."

True. On my way to the pet foods, I impulsively remembered that we had run out of our ziploc collection and I had thoughtfully analyzed and bought all we could possibly need: gallon zipper bags, quart, sandwich, and snack size.

It was obvious, I needed to take the few extra minutes and give his dog some food too.

So, I turned into the gas station on that corner as if I had intended to do that maneuver. 

I drove up to the curb; behind where the man was standing facing the traffic.  

Judgements came back. I wonder if this nice gray pick up truck is his? After all, he looks dressed fairly nice. Why would he be asking for help? Oh yeah, his cardboard sign said he was a vet. I have heard how our country leaves our veterans hanging. He must just need extra help.

I lightly honked to get his attention. 

He turned toward me and came up to me smiling. I told him I had just bought dog food and baggies and could share some food for his dog too.

I did not stop myself. I asked, "Is this your gray truck?"

He replied, "No, I don't know whose it is."

I was obviously wrong in my earlier assumptions and forming conclusions that this man may be trying to take advantage or get free handouts because he could. 

He was appreciative and as I opened the hatch and tried to figure out how to open the dog food bag, he was eagerly offering to help.

I won't lie.  I wrestled here. In simply choosing which bag of dog food to give him a portion!  

I had bought two bags of food in Wal-mart. I had bought a more expensive bag - well...they both were expensive (I try to buy wholesome quality animal food with the belief that their health will deteriorate, as will ours, with all those cheap fillers and preservatives costing us pain, suffering, and more money in vet bills in the end). But, the one sitting on top was the more expensive one. It was as if the whole time I was struggling to figure out a way to open this bag, my mind was telling me, "You should give him the other bag. The less expensive dog food."

I resisted. I determined I would give him the best I had.

(Again, I don't share to boast, but to be transparent that I have been proactively practicing this skill, this gift of giving for ten years now, and I still have to proactively defeat  my greedy tendencies, my selfishness, my flesh.)

He who did not spare His own Son, but delivered Him up for us all,
how shall He not with Him also freely give us all things?  

Romans 8:32 NKJV

As I was scooping the dog food, he was holding the gallon ziploc bag open for me. When I finished, I looked him straight in the eyes and asked, "What do you need?"

He was taken back by my question. I persisted. "What specifically do you need?"

He replied, "Well, I'm trying to save to get a car."

There it was! A car? God was going to ask me to give up the car we just found and purchased for our daughter. I knew it! I had even spoken it out. Just a week earlier, I had found a car for someone else. Although they no longer needed it. The more I thought about the deal, I convinced myself it was a good time to go ahead and get it for our daughter who will be learning to drive soon. Long story short, we had it assessed and concluded it was in great shape at a great price: $6000.00.  However, it just seemed to fall in our lap so suddenly and so easily that I had wondered if this gift was not for us, but another one that God would just be passing through us. He does that at times. Though our daughter already is super excited about the car, I had warned her of this possibility and she was so gracious to say she would be okay if that happened (that God would ask us to give it away).

Instead of assuming, I asked another question.  "How much are you trying to save?"

"$800.00.... I've already found a van I can use for my upholstry business."

Whew.  My insides smiled. I could do $800.00.  Our ministry account currently had some stagnant monies sitting in there ready to bless.

I asked if he had a bank account.  He said yes.  I told him I would like to bless him right then with a check for $1000.00.  

His face lit up and he immediately said that the amount would even help him pay the taxes and get insurance and he would be all set up and ready to go.

As I walked to the front of the car, to get my purse, he followed me. He was talking quite a bit. I was half listening as I searched for our ministry checkbook. I try to always carry it with me because we never know when the Lord will ask us to be ready to give.  For some reason I could not find it.

Obstacle. I had to make a decision. Be logistical or be compassionate.  

If you know me, this is not as easy as it sounds for me. I am the person who gets "paralysis of analysis" syndrome! But, praise God He helps us in our moments of weakness and I was able to quickly decide it was more important to follow through with this blessing, than it was my accounting was perfect.  I could just write a personal check and journal the money (with a specific memo of what it was for) when I got home.

As I was writing the check, I still wrestled with my personal information being on the check. My name. My address. My home phone number!

I am giving this to a stranger. Is this safe?

There are times where we must stay in the spirit and not operate according to the rules, regulations, and traditions of this world. When you know that God has spoken and asked you to do something, you know God is with you taking care of all the details. You can rest in your service to Him.

I pressed on to write the check anyway. I tuned into his need. What did he say about his van and a machine?

He had been talking about his plans to use the van to do work as a contractor for a big company who owns thousands of restaurants.  My mind was imagining the work trucks that have come to our house all decked out with specialized equipment (like the carpet cleaners).

"What type of machine do you have to get?" I asked suddenly realizing getting his van was not setting him up for success. It was only meeting part of his need. 

"A sewing machine." he said to my surprise. That seemed simple.

"Any sewing machine?" I was scanning my brain to think of possibly giving him the nice one we had just bought for our daughter's lessons. The one sitting in the case, in the closet, not being used for months. This could bring this man income.

"No, I need a special one that will do upholstry" he answered.

"How much does that cost?"  

"Oh, I don't know. About $500." he said and then quickly added, "I am just telling you my plans, I don't want you to think I'm asking for more..."

Done. I was already writing the check for $1500.00.

I handed it to him and said, "Here is everything you need to get your van and sewing machine so you can do your work."

The man's eyes were red and tears were streaming down his cheeks. He could not contain them.

Our mission to give in such a way that we make people cry (AKA touch their hearts with the love and grace of God through giving to their need) was fulfilled yet again.

His dog had gotten loose, from the pole she was tied to down the hill, and ran up to me sitting in my car. She was so friendly and I pet her as the man and I talked.

He told me something about a couple he lived near that he wanted to teach his trade to; to help them get work. He told me he lived as a hobo after a divorce four years ago. He did not want much, but he liked to help people.

As I was putting my things away, he asked me, "Would you mind praying with me?"

"...be ready always to give an answer to every man
that asketh you a reason of the hope that is in you..."
1 Peter 3:15 KJV 

And so I stood up, touched his arm, and prayed. Not sure all the details, but God's Word teaches us in various ways

"For the Holy Spirit will teach you in that very hour what you ought to say." (Luke 12:12 NKJV)

and I know He did. I was honored to be a part of that Holy moment. That moment where another human being is hearing the message of God's love for them specifically in a real, tangible way.

Yes, God sees you.

Yes, God hears you.

Yes, God has brought rescue to you.

Yes, God uses His other children to help you.

Yes, remain in convenant with your God, and He will take care of all things for you, with you, and through you.

I pulled out my social worker side and asked if he had gotten any help from the government since he was a veteran.  Surely, they would not be okay with him living in a tent! Is it that bad that our government has abandoned our veterans that they are homeless?

He told me he had been a part of Vietnam and Panama. He said, "I won't ask for help from my government. I prefer to ask for help from my people."

I asked who his people were and he pointed to all the traffic and the area where he was standing. He repeated, "I would rather get help from my people than my government. If only you knew how bad it was when I came back in '74." 

Unfortunately, my ignorance and lack of education in this area does not understand much about his experiences. I just accepted his position; though it made me skeptical that he can live well off the help from "his people".

I added my typical encouragement to tithe off the blessing he had just been given, as an act of faith and a statement of his trust in God's ability to continue to provide for him. He entertained my pleas with his statements that he liked to help people, that was how he tithes to God and that he depends on his faith in God. If only I could transfer the years of our testing this financial Biblical principle instantaneously so he would understand how crucial it is to his relationship with God and money. But I believe each man has to receive the truth and exercise it for himself to truly receive the truth in a way that transforms them into future action, change, and outcomes.  Thankfully, the Holy Spirit is given to guide us with these operations and growing opportunities.

I invited him to feel welcome to contact us with updates at how things turn out for him. I even stretched and wrote my cell phone number on the check to make it easier for him to text me updates and photos.

He was so excited and said, "You're going to be amazed when you get an update from me. When I show you how I am living... in a tent over there...."

We said our goodbyes. He asked for a hug. Of course.

God in the flesh. Thank you for using me, Jesus.

Thank you that I truly am blessed to be a blessing... to be Your blessing to those around us.

Snapped this photo as they walked away.
Check cleared our bank that day.
Pray for his prosperity.
Thank God for ours (yours included).

Ministry Sidenote & Update:  Though I had great intentions to write at least monthly some of our giving stories, I did not stay true to that goal. It has been 12 months since I wrote a blog post! However, I can assure you our ministry has continued to sow great seed into the lives of others as we have been fortunate to cross paths with these people who are victims of great grace that comes upon them in their time of financial need. We continue to be so appreciative of the many people, and families, who are faithful monthly partners who give us the confidence to continue being ready to give at a moments notice. Our 2016 annual letter gave some brief stories of how we have been blessing others. Please let us know if you would like a copy.

Giving by NOT taking advantage of discounts

Now that I am on this journey of recording some of our giving experiences, I seem to be more aware in situations where opportunities to "give" present themselves.

Recently, I was surprised when I sensed the Holy Spirit teaching me a new way to give: by not taking advantage of discounts.

I had pulled over quickly to fill our van up with gas.

The usual routine is not complicated or requiring much thought.... I've probably filled up my car at least 1000 times (literally if you calculate once a week for 20 years... and I've been driving 24 years).

1000 times.

That is like filling up a tank of gas once a day for 2 years and 9 months.

• Get out of the car.
• Insert debit card into the pump slot.
• Press debit.
• Enter pin number.... look for which button on this pump to push next.
• No, I don't want a car wash.
• No, I don't want a receipt (well, Yes... if I'm at a certain gas station that only works if I push Yes).
• Unhook pump.
• Oops, I forgot to unscrew the gas tank cap... again.
• Hold pump in one hand while awkwardly unscrewing the gas cap.
• Insert pump.
• Choose Unleaded Regular Fuel after glancing at the price. (It is the lowest price anyway, so I'm just curious.)
• Playing a mental math game while I try to calculate how much it will cost based on how empty the gas indicator was.
• Realizing the fumes are strong and remembering the book I read about what that can do to us... so walking around the car to wait or sitting inside the driver's seat while I wait.

• <Click>
• The gas tank is full.
• Unhook and replace pump hose.  Screw back on cap. Drive away.

Giving by Spending More Gas Money at the Pump

Never before had I ever considered what ran through my mind that particular sunny day.

I find it amazing how our circumstances all merge together at moments where if we stay in tune to our thoughts can give us revelations, insights, ideas, and breakthroughs.  

Recently, I became aware of our country's "oil crisis". Gas prices have been low for quite some time, and I had not given it much thought about the bigger picture of this.  I, like I imagine most Americans, enjoyed seeing the prices plunge. This meant more money in my pocket.  It's good for me. No further thought.

Then, a woman I know had asked for prayer for her husband. The oil prices had dropped so low that many people in that industry were losing their jobs; he could be next. She explained how their stock had dropped hundreds of thousands of dollars already (their life savings) and they were concerned he could lose his job as well.  They are in their fifties, so I understood somewhat that this could feel extremely vulnerable in their life season.  

I also started to hear reports, from other media and sources, of job loss consequences due to the oil prices being so low.

So, on that day when I had just stopped to fill up the tank, as I had done plenty of times before, my spirit was already primed with knowledge of the oil crisis and knowledge of our mission to give as we have opportunity and are able.

"Therefore, as we have opportunity, let us do good to all, 

especially to those who are of the household of faith." 

Galatians 6:10 NKJV

As I went to choose the Unleaded Regular Gasoline, I saw the price around $1.40/gallon (it may have been as high as $1.60). Then I saw the Premium Gasoline price around $1.85 ish (definitely below $2.00/gallon).  It was in that moment that I receive instantaneous perspective of how selfish I was being to continue to purchase the lowest gasoline just because I could.  I recalled that it had not been too long ago that we were consistently buying gas for anywhere between $3.00-$4.00/gallon (for years).  We had agreed to that then, so why would I be upset over paying less than $2.00/gallon for the Premium gasoline.

It only took a few seconds, at most, to have this understanding and only a moment to make a choice.  That's where I believe exponential things can happen (us making our ripple effects on the world - including our own lives); when we have the knowledge and we make a choice.

I proudly pushed the PREMIUM button and filled up the tank with the best gas.  

I did it to honor the men and women who are working in the oil industry so that I can go to and fro in my car without a hitch. 

I did it to prove to my flesh that I wasn't scared to spend a few extra dollars that day....God is my Source of supply, it's His money, and He will provide more as needed.  

I did it to teach myself that sometimes giving doesn't have to be in mass amounts of money... it can be small sacrifices with large hearts and intentions towards someone else's success over my own.  I think I spent less than an extra $7.00 total.

Then, after it was all done, I realized that even though I thought I was the one making a small sacrifice, I had received a blessing in return.  My van was given the best gasoline... which from what little I know about automobiles, helps the parts work better!  So, I could also consider it a small auto service expense to give my van a little bit better fuel... like a healthy smoothie in the midst of all our fast food meals. :) It is all perspective.

As I drove away, it's hard to describe the joy I had on the inside. The kind of joy where you know your life matters and makes a difference... no matter how small the impact may seem. 

I started envisioning starting a campaign on Facebook to encourage everyone to just buy the higher priced gasoline for a few weeks in effort to help buffer some of these devastating losses people are going through.  I did not do that... another of many ideas that gets dreamed up but not executed.  It's taken me weeks to simply sit down to share this story with you.  

However, to get excited about the potential of how our actions can make powerful differences, look at this example.

If 3 million people (only 1% of Americans) paid an extra $5.00 per tank of gas (only about 30 cents extra per gallon), that would be $15,000,000 per week in revenue!  I have no idea how that would trickle down to the employees, but assuming the companies are honest and fair, and assuming each employee being let go earns approximately $50,000/year (pulling that number out of thin air), that's like us collectively saving 300 jobs!  That is only in 1 week! 

That's 300 families who most likely are not prepared for sudden job losses considering reports continue to tell us most Americans are in debt and not saving significant emergency funds.

That's 3 million people doing something super quick and small that could save 300 families from a huge and long term crisis.

And, that's 3 million cars that just might give a little bit extra service back to those generous and thoughtful people.

With the power in numbers, it is amazing what can be accomplished.

So, the next time you are offered a discount, I encourage you to be aware that you don't have to accept it. Or at least be aware of how your accepting it impacts the greater industry.

The amazing thing I have learned, over the last few years as I have been renewing my mind (and actions) from a poverty and lack mentality to a child of a King mentality, is that whenever I give up something (stuff or money) for the sake of the Kingdom, my faith in God as my Father who provides gets stronger.  However, while I am debating about whether or not to give the "thing" away, I feel I am not as confident. But, once it's done, it's amazing the victory, joy, and inner peace and confidence that comes as a result.... and yes, He always repays me for my kindness on behalf of Him and His name (and I mean in the physical sense as well as spiritual).  We don't lack any good thing.

"...those who seek the LORD shall not lack any good thing."

Psalm 34:10 NKJV

When I cut my coupons, am I being a good steward of my money?

OR

When I choose not to use the coupons, am I being a good steward of my money?

I submit that the answer can be "Yes" to both. What's in your heart? Where is your intention, faith, and trust as you spend "your" money?

"The earth is the LORD’s, and everything in it, the world, and all who live in it;"

Psalm 24:1 NIV

Ever since that day, I have continued to buy the Premium Gasoline, and I plan to continue to do so unless and until the Lord gives me peace to do otherwise. 

I hope you are inspired to do the same.

"All things are lawful for me, but not all things are helpful; 

all things are lawful for me, but not all things edify. 

Let no one seek his own, but each one the other's well-being." 

1 Corinthians 10:23-24 NKJV

Blessed to be a blessing,

R :)

Screenshot Taken From News Website 2016

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Servants of Christ's Kingdom Serving. Together Everyone Achieves More

To become a monthly partner, please click here.

Disclaimer: the extra gasoline expense is coming out of our personal budget; not our SOCKS Ministry budget (for those who may have wondered or who took the time to read this fine print).

Give on His terms. Make him cry.

I am quickly realizing I don't have the time (or I cannot make the commitment to the time) to write every giving story in my long short-story format. So, tonight, I wanted to just jot down the basics and ended up writing this (with the intention to go back to it later).  However, I have YEARS of stories to go back and write... so the chances of me going back to it - may be slim. 

This happened today.  

You may want to read it today. 

God may be able to use it today. 

So here it is.

Not perfectly edited or punctuated.

But, in the end... you may have to put it on your list to read and never get to it.  

So hopefully, you can read through it sooner and quicker as well.  

At the end of the day, what's important to me about sharing these stories is that you are growing in your faith for what you believe to be impossible, your trust in God's complete provision for you to personally do the "impossible", and that you share in our passion for becoming a giver more than a taker and a blessing more and more as you realize how blessed you are.

I also hope to redefine the prejudices and judgments too often unfairly assigned to the poor and homeless by all... especially those who "call themselves Christians".

I hope others can learn from what we do well and from what we could have done better: to be better equipped to notice and take action as you have opportunity.

**********  

Leaving Natural Grocers with our three children

We had been running errands for about 5 hours at this point

$400+ in groceries

Loading the car. Putting the cart away.

See Lone black man sitting at table outside the front of the store

 –obviously needing help but too shy or humbled to even ask

Just present

Waiting

Opportunity

I’ll bite

Just making the choice to just do it

I asked what we could do for him. Did he need something to eat?

He wanted some “change” for some food for him, his daughter and granddaughter

I did not have cash but he could shop for groceries; we would pay

He was obviously uncomfortable going into “health food store”

He mentioned not needing “organic”

He asked for some bread, bologna, and juice.

I offered to go with him next door to CVS

He perked up, “I can go to CVS?”
Of course I tried meagerly to encourage the Health Food choice – it wasn’t scary, but would be better for him

But I recognized he was uncomfortable – it was foreign to him

Realized is it about helping him on my terms or helping him

So I bend.

I don’t like prices for groceries at CVS nor the chemicals in most of the food types that would be found there.

But what was more important?

Love.

So we all walked over there.

Gave him the basket and let him shop.

We all went beside him. 

He picked up Hawaiian Punch. I started to suggest Apple Juice.  If only he knew the artificial sugar load in his juice and how bad that will make him feel; sparking more hunger.

But is this the time to educate?

No, just love.

Love in his language.

Doesn’t have to be mine.

He was conscious of the price.

When he saw the tea was the same price as the punch, he chose the tea.

I could tell he was excited about that.

We continued to stroll.

I suggested to add a bag of chips. Just for fun.

Sure, they are not filling, but they are fun to eat.

I bit my tongue wanting to get the only type that I would have approved for my children, but he got the ones we all love, but don’t get because they are laced with MSG.

But, I found joy in knowing he got to pick what he wanted.

We went a little further.

“Peanuts or nuts?” I asked as we passed them.

They are non-perishable, lightweight, and satisfying.

This would be a good investment.

“No” he answered softly after giving them an honest glance to decide.

I was not sure if he was trying not to take advantage of our offer to help, or if he felt bad accepting too much, or if he really did not see the value in having nuts on hand.

That’s okay. 

Not my way… just love his way.

We couldn’t find bologna or any lunch meat in the CVS refrigerators.

He settled to just get a loaf of bread.

I was glad he chose the $3.00 healthy loaf.

It could have been the cheaper Wonder White Bread… but Nature’s Own would have been my pick for him there. 

No High Fructose Corn Syrup.

Why was it still about what I thought?

I saw the Quaker Oatmeal box. This would be great!
Lightweight individual packets.

Nutritious and filling.

Can be made with water and cups at any gas station on the go.

I offered, picking up the box to show him.

He declined saying that he would not want to get something he wouldn’t eat.

I appreciated he wasn't wanting to waste "our" money.

Clearly the poor and homeless need educated in cheaper, more nutritious ways to feed themselves.

But for now, educating him was not my mission.

He was ready to go, but I insisted we have to at least get something for the bread.

“How about peanut butter?”

He agreed.

We went back through the aisles looking for the peanut butter.

Found it!

I so wanted to get the jelly too… for taste and enjoyment, but it was not practical.

Too heavy. Glass jars for smaller ones. No refrigerator once it is opened.

If CVS had the mixed squeeze bottle, we could have gotten that… but they didn’t.

(Add that to the list when changing the world – tell corner markets to carry poor / homeless friendlier options.)

Now, we were ready to checkout.

He had his gallon of tea, bag of chips, loaf of bread, and jar of peanut butter.

We rounded the corner and I asked if he needed any toiletries… toothbrush, razor, anything?

He declined and started to tell me his story in bits.

He just got approved for his section 8 housing.

His sister had kicked out his daughter and her child and he had to take them in.

He had them in a motel for the night, and he just wanted to get some food.

I did not press making him get the toiletries.

I offered. 

He had declined. 

He was delicate. 

He was a broken man clearly overwhelmed by this stranger who was out-of-nowhere giving him a full shopping spree.

He had not been trained or ready for what to do in that moment.

If he had the hope or faith that he could experience something like this, I am sure he would have been better prepared to accept the gifts.

If he had any idea how much his Father loves him, he would have been better prepared to expect and accept the gifts.

As we approached the checkout, I saw the whole aisle of candy.

I wanted so badly to offer him something sweet, but for some reason I couldn’t.

Just because you are poor doesn’t mean you wouldn’t enjoy a good chocolate splurge!

An image of his daughter getting a bag of chocolate flashed across my mind.

But, the mental war had begun. Should I or shouldn't I?

I judged it to be not wise.

The issue with teeth care. 

Then the thought of how my sugar cravings are precipitated usually by my eating sugar, I resolved it wasn’t in their best interest.

It would possibly ignite a craving for more and leave them feeling hungrier in the end.

So, I didn’t offer.

Attempting to bless had been thwarted by judging...again. 

Judging always tends to find its way into the situation. 

One day, I hope to lock it out for good while keeping discernment around as welcomed company with wisdom.

It was obvious to anyone in that store that we weren’t together.

He was a black man.

              We are white.

He was in typical “homeless” attire.

              We were dressed casually.

He was emitting an odor.

              We were clean – especially since my oldest daughter and I had fresh haircuts with shampoo and style earlier in the day.

He was solemn and withdrawn.

              We were talkative, bubbly, and confident.

Even so, I wanted to bless him with honor and respect.

I had the idea to let him look like he was paying for it all himself.

But I wasn’t able to coordinate that fast enough.

As I had had the thought, the cashier had already asked him for his CVS card, and I was a few seconds behind in pulling it out and giving it all to him to use.

So, he stepped aside, and I finished the transaction.

I wondered how much this small sack of groceries would be.  

Four items.

I was pleasantly surprised when the total was barely over $12.00.

$12.00!?

That’s all!?

Here I offered to let this man get whatever he wanted or needed in the store.

He chose selectively.

He declined many things he was offered.

I had gone where he felt comfortable, a small voice telling me the cost of groceries would be unreasonable.

But, at this moment it did not seem unreasonable.

It did not seem to be anything.

I had just spent over $400.00 at my grocery store stocking up on all sorts of things.

And his bill was only $12.00.

I felt sad.

I felt guilty for not doing more.

I wished I had a way to say, “I know what I can do to fix all of your issues for you! Here’s this place. They’ll help you get on your feet and you’ll never have to worry about where you are going to stay or what you are going to eat.”

But, I don’t know a place like that.

Honestly, we had our plans today.

We still had places to go and errands to run.

This was a small detour to be a blessing

To seize the opportunity, because we DID notice him; 

therefore we were obligated to do something.

We had answered that call, but here and now… it did not seem enough.

Before the credit card machine could finish, my mind realized an idea.

I could add to our gift by giving him cash back.

I think, to date, this is the only time I ever hoped it would ask me: “Do you want cash back?”

It did.

And I did.

$40.00.

I felt satisfied that the total was at least over $50.00 now. 

That seemed a more just amount to bless him.

I asked the cashier to double bag his heavy tea gallon knowing he would have to carry it somewhere with those painful plastic handles. I considered going back to my grocery store to buy a nicer bag, but I did not extend myself to do that. 

I turned to give him his 2 bags of groceries and handed him the cash on top of them.

He was amazed.

His whole countenance changed.

I had given him cash!

He wasn’t expecting that.

I wasn’t expecting that (to give him extra cash).

But, thank God His spirit lives inside of me and prompts me to maneuver in ways that touch the souls of man in a way only God’s life force can.

His soul was touched and that transformed his face.

He thanked us.

We were about to leave, and he asked, “Pray for me tonight.”

He teared up.

Duh! Of course.

I can pray with him right now.

I shuffled us to go outside to pray – realizing I would have been okay to have done it right there in the middle of the store where other could see.

But, habit, I guess prompted me to do it “in private” so as not to offend anyone or embarrass him.

And so, we offered another gift. 

Our time to listen and to offer our greatest power to do something that will make a lifetime impact for him – to agree with him in prayer.

I asked what specifically he wanted prayer for.

Right as I wanted to ask his name, it was like he read my mind.

He said, “My name is Lathaniel. What is your name?”

I was touched that he cared to ask our names.  I told him and we talked about what he wanted prayer for.

He said his sister, “who is supposed to be a Christian”, kicked out his daughter and her baby.

He felt he had no choice but to take them in. His compassion and attempt to "do the right thing" was genuine.

He was trying to get them some food.

Though I wanted to know the details (probably so I could either judge or try to fix it with my grand advice and opinions), out of curiosity, I did not ask.

It wasn’t my story to know. It was his story to tell.

Within the next week he was expecting his Section 8 housing to work out and he will have a place to stay.

I remembered my calls years ago looking for Section 8 housing for our family. 

At least a 3-5 year waiting list.

I asked if he was trying to get a job. 

Not to be judgemental, but to make sure he knows this is important: to check the advice off my list as a citizen's duty. (?) Honestly, the verse about "those who don't work, don't eat" passed through my mind and I felt it was a justifiable question.

As he fumbled with how to respond - my attention began to assess his physical appearance, and I honestly knew that I could not think of one business that would "give him a chance".

How is he supposed to get up from this bottom rung?

He mentioned his disability income.

He acknowledged that he believed God was doing something for him by me coming to help him. He knew it meant something.

He told me I did not have any idea how much that $40.00 meant to him and would help him.

He had had to put his disability monies down for the apartment, deposit, and so on and was not expecting how that would drain him of all he had while he was in this waiting place until he can move in.

This was a reasonable problem that explained his current plight of needing food. 

I remembered how frustrated I had been many times trying to help our own family “get off the bottom”.

The world is set up in a way that doesn’t help people on the very bottom rung, those barely hanging on already.

“The world’s system” does not discriminate in that sense.

Poor or rich alike.

Pay deposit here.

Pay fee there.

Pay first month and last month.

Show two forms of ID.

You must have this ID before you can get that ID circle I went through myself. 

I sympathized with his situation.

I wished I could give him $1000 and help him for an entire month.

I knew I could do that, if I really chose to.

But, I withheld from going all in to help this one person in that large way.

Like being afraid you’ll all sink if one more person gets in your boat…

so doing small things hoping it will be a life raft filled with hope that will inspire them to get themselves to the next stage, and praying that God will send others stronger than I who can pull him the rest of the way.

It takes great courage to give up your boat and let him have it instead.

Today, I did not use that faith, trust, and courage.

I am sorry to say it, but more sorry to know this is still a shortcoming or an area of growth.

I noticed a small tear in his right eye as I listened to him.
I believed it had been triggered by his gratitude and knowledge that God was doing something for him.

I gathered my children who were nearby waiting and hanging out.

“Let’s pray.”

They all came immediately to pray with us.

They know the drill.

I asked if I could touch him. He said yes.

So we circled up and prayed with him and for him.

When we opened our eyes, he was definitely crying. 

Tears.

I thought, satisfied, “That means I’m done. I made him cry. We can go now.”

A new family joke, mission, or motto – whatever you would call it.

A few weeks ago, a lady cried on the phone, after we paid off her overdue electric bill.

After that, we started reflecting on how many times our giving prompts the recipient to cry.

I said we should title our book, “People we made cry.”

My oldest daughter (13), said when we pierced his heart with love, the water must have come out through his eyes.

Funny, deep way to think about it.

Reminds me of an article I read that talked about the science behind the healing properties of tears.

If that science is accurate, it is more proof of God’s amazing design for us.

I asked if I could hug him.

Yes, he had a stench.

Yes, I am a female, and he was male.

But, in that moment it seemed the walls and boundaries were down and this human needed touch.

Touch is healing.

Touch reminds us we are real and allows us to feel.

So, I leaped across the boundaries of stigma and gave him a quick hug.

He told me God was going to keep blessing us.

(I’ll accept that prophesy.)

I quickly told him the secret to his increase will be in not letting that money control him, but he will control the money.

He doesn’t serve it, it serves him.

This mental shift helped us so much when we were in our “poverty/lack” state less than two years ago.

I encouraged him, and instructed him, to not eat his seed.

To at least give $4.00 (10%) away into the Kingdom of God however and however much he believes God wants him to give.

And then to watch how that will be grown into more seed and get him higher and higher as he exercises the faith and obedience to do more each time (from the harvest he receives).

It has taken us hours and hours of studying, listening to teaching, and trial and error to learn this principle that I tried to transfer into his heart in a matter of minutes.

Will YOU please pray it landed on fertile ground and that Lathaniel will have the trust in God and test God on this and then see it come to pass (Mal 3:10 and more)?

I believe, once he sees it himself, we would have “fed him for a lifetime”.

And, he will in turn become a “fisher of men”.

My last words to him.

“Don’t forget. Don’t eat your seed.”

He said he won’t.

Give until you make them cry.

Press in and give in a way they don’t understand.

In a generous, selfless, loving way that pierces their defenses, their doubts, their hardness of heart.

A way that reminds them that God must see and love them –because why would this stranger do this for them?